Take your top off and finally be as comfortable as he is. — I was at a public beach far out in Brooklyn with a guy I was seeing and some of his friends when four breasts came out. Two of his female friends took off their tops and ran into the water with only a bikini bottom on. …

In non-monogamy and beyond — I posted a video on Instagram a few walks ago which triggered a lot of people. And watching it again recently, I have to say it triggered me too. In the video, I talk about how before a trip to Spain in Flo’s van this past Spring, he asked me…

An important first step for this big change — Six years ago, I started thinking seriously about wanting children. At 28, I realized I needed to start making that a priority if I wanted to make it happen before it was “too late.” I tried to make it work with one other person (it didn’t) before meeting Flo. Not…

And it’s a blow to the ego — From adolescence up until my early twenties, I was pretty preoccupied with my looks. As a teen, before going to meet friends at the mall or the movies, I would spend long bouts of time in front of the body-length mirror attached to my closet getting the makeup, the clothes…

Fern says jealousy is only a symptom of something bigger — Most people out there feel extremely uncomfortable at the thought of their partner with someone else. It’s the main reason they don’t even want to imagine being non-monogamous. And then there are people like me, who get jealous sometimes, but still see so much benefit in CNM relationships, that they…

There are your feelings. And the rest is just a story. — I was sitting with a friend, Altan, the other day in his Bushwick apartment, and over raw nuts and club soda from a can, we started nerding out about meditation. I was telling him how I incorporate mindfulness into what I teach about non-monogamy. And he said something that made…

Everything is different now — Before I had a life growing inside of me, I didn’t really know what to expect from pregnancy. I imagined whatever happened I would keep dating, would keep being sexual. In other words, I would keep being my badass and inspiring self, sort of like Rihanna. But the truth is…

My #1 reason to be poly proud — A lot of people think non-monogamy is for selfish people who don’t care about their partner’s feelings. “It’s not worth hurting my partner,” I’ve heard people say. And it makes sense. Our partner dating someone else is a scenario we’ve all been taught to fear. …

In the moment and beyond — When I first learned about polyamory, it appealed to me for so many reasons. It spoke of a sex-positive world where love is abundant. Where we don’t need to be the one and only source of our partner’s romantic and sexual joy. But coming from a world where people believe…