And I think I made the world a better place
Josh was the first man I ever dated who was passionate about putting his mouth on my vagina. He was also the first boyfriend with whom I regularly orgasmed. And it wasn’t a coincidence.
For a while, oral sex was the only way I could get off with a man. So it was usually one of the courses on our menu of love-making.
But then Josh and I split, and I started to have sex with other men, hoping they would do the same. And many did without my prompting.
But there were others that didn’t get the memo, which…
How the urge to keep the peace can make you do things you regret
At a hostel in the ancient city of Taormina, Sicily, a pretty girl greeted me at the front desk. As she checked me in, a man standing behind her checked me out with a big smile in the way I’d come to learn Italian men do.
He was several years older than I, had dark thinning hair, and had the gaunt look of someone who was malnourished.
Even though I did not find him attractive, I was grateful for his gaze. …
Sometimes it feels like my friends with kids are on the other side of the matrix
The other day, a childhood friend of mine was telling me about her experience breastfeeding. She was not producing enough milk. Meanwhile, her friend was producing way more than her newborn needed.
I found this fascinating, as I find almost everything related to pregnancy and childbirth. I tried to think of a response.
“Oh, mammals,” I said, shaking my head. I said it in the same way you would say, “Oh, kids these days. Gotta love them.” It was supposed to be humorous.
My friend laughed along politely, but I didn’t get the sense she found it funny.
And in…
On a train in India, I let a stranger rub his feet on me because I needed a place to sleep.
“I have a bed,” he said. The man was several years younger than I was, with chubby cheeks and short black hair.
It was almost midnight, and the train was moving fast, already miles away from the station where I’d boarded.
I needed his help. What other choice did I have?
Five days earlier in Rishikesh, I’d tried to book a seat on this very train. I wanted to check out the holy city of Varanasi, a 14-hour train journey away.
But when I went to the travel agency, the man at the desk informed me there were only spots…
Take your top off and finally be as comfortable as he is.
I was at a public beach far out in Brooklyn with a guy I was seeing and some of his friends when four breasts came out.
Two of his female friends took off their tops and ran into the water with only a bikini bottom on. As soon as they did, I looked left and right at the other New York beach-goers around us…
Big Latin families serving each other hot food, an old wrinkly couple drinking cocktails, a group of friends dancing to Caribbean music, teenagers in groups smoking cigarettes and taking selfies.
We weren’t at Burning Man or…
This topic storms emotions and starts wars
It happened a few times in the last few weeks.
I wrote deeply personal stories about my journey to becoming more sex-positive. Stories that took a lot of self-reflection and came from the bottom of my heart. And at first, things looked good.
The stories were chosen for further distribution, and the views started to reach the thousands. I was thrilled people were getting something from my words, that my messages were gaining momentum.
And then all of a sudden, it stopped. That momentum came to a halt — almost no one saw these posts (below) anymore.
What went wrong?
When I looked…
You never owe someone oral sex simply because they gave it to you first
On the front deck of the ship, I sipped a can of Hanoi beer and clocked one particularly tall and fit guy leaning on the railing, speaking Dutch to his friends.
It was the first day of a three-day tour across Vietnam’s Ha Long Bay, and I was hopeful that at some point I’d get a chance to flirt with him.
As the day progressed, the 40 or so other backpackers on the boat and I chatted, played drinking games, and admired the beautiful limestone islands jutting out of the water around us.
And finally, that evening, with a belly…
Let’s stop fart-shaming and smell the love.
Back in grade school when someone smelt a fart, you can bet that a witch hunt would ensue.
Even if I wasn’t guilty of the crime, my face would turn red, as one of the other kids would present evidence, such as I smelled it when I was over there next to Grace. Or the big case closer: Whoever smelt it, dealt it.
It was like an episode of Law and Order: SVU (Smelly Victims Unit). And I assume this type of inquisition is common in elementary schools across the world.
But the thing is, not only children act in…
In reality, great sex isn’t very “adult.”
Adult films. Adult parties. Adult books. Sex and the word “adult” are often used interchangeably. But using the word “adult” as a substitute for “sex” is very misleading.
In reality, in order to have exciting and adventurous sex, you need to embrace a part of you that is very un-adult.
You need to go back in time, past your twenties, your teenage years, and even your childhood to when you were just a toddler. In his book Love Worth Making, sex therapist Stephen Snyder says that your sexual mind is about as mature as a two-year-old’s. And in order to…
What does it really mean to be polyamorous?
I recently read a story in the “Modern Love” section of the New York Times about a woman who is dating a man who already has two girlfriends. She understands polyamory from a logical standpoint. It makes sense to her.
But as time goes on, the author, Silva Kuusniemi, begins to fall in love, and more and more, the idea starts to make her stomach turn.
She avoids her metamours (her partner’s partners) until she can’t anymore, and they all agree to have dinner one evening. …
Sarah Stroh
New Yorker living in Berlin. I overshare stories about sex positivity, love, and non-monogamy. Get more details on my monogamish life 👉 https://bit.ly/2I81N62
