And I think I made the world a better place
Josh was the first man I ever dated who was passionate about putting his mouth on my vagina. He was also the first boyfriend with whom I regularly orgasmed. And it wasn’t a coincidence.
For a while, oral sex was the only way I could get off with a man. So it was usually one of the courses on our menu of love-making.
But then Josh and I split, and I started to have sex with other men, hoping they would do the same. And many did without my prompting.
But there were others that didn’t get the memo, which…
How the urge to keep the peace can make you do things you regret
At a hostel in the ancient city of Taormina, Sicily, a pretty girl greeted me at the front desk. As she checked me in, a man standing behind her checked me out with a big smile in the way I’d come to learn Italian men do.
He was several years older than I, had dark thinning hair, and had the gaunt look of someone who was malnourished.
Even though I did not find him attractive, I was grateful for his gaze. …
I have to remind myself my partner is not like those other men
The other day I was laying down with my partner Flo on the couch, feeling tired after a long day out with friends. He started to touch my chest, and I felt mega blissful, just laying there feeling his loving hands on my body, getting aroused.
But then he told me to take off his pants.
And as I did, I noticed I wasn’t feeling so blissful anymore.
I felt a little bit like now I have the responsibility of his penis, of it being hard, of him being turned on. …
As my partner goes on a date, I feel my inner five-year-old coming out
There was a time in my life where I’ve let envy get the best of me. For example, one Saturday at age five, I was in the front seat with my mom picking up my big brother from a playdate.
Soon after he got in the car, it came to light that he and his friend had had ice cream earlier that day.
My blood began to boil. “I want ice cream too!” I yelled.
But my mother said I couldn’t have any because it was almost time for dinner.
“But that’s not fair!” I screamed as tears flowed down…
Instead, rise above our workaholic culture.
When I was 23, just starting out a career in finance in New York, I got in trouble with my boss.
As part of my job on a client team, I had been given a Blackberry so that I could attend to client requests over the weekend and after work. But since we almost never got requests over the weekend, I would regularly go Friday to Sunday without checking my work phone.
Then one Saturday while I was doing some combination of bar-hopping, having boozy brunch with friends, and laying in bed hungover, a client emailed our team about something.
…
Our date should not simply be a means to an end
Ari* was confident, tanned and out of everyone sitting around the table in the hostel that evening, he was the cutest. When a few of us went outside for a smoke, I was happy he struck up a conversation with me.
I told him I was in Copenhagen just for a few days, and he told me he was there on a business trip from Israel.
He was perfectly nice, polite, friendly.
Yet there was something a little too eager about him. Something that didn’t sit right. …
Why love should never come with a checklist
At age 29, I was finally ready to meet my life partner. And I only had two itty bitty requirements for this lucky man:
One: That he was open to non-monogamy. I had been in and out of strictly monogamous relationships my whole life, and I felt this was the lifestyle for me.
Two: That he be ready to have kids with me sometime in the “next few years.” I imagined at age 32 or 33 I would have my first child.
My friends back home were getting married like dominos, some of them already pregnant. It was time for…
As difficult as it is to see my partner go on another date, I still think it’s worth it.
Flo and I were lying in a hammock in the park when he asked me how I’d feel about him going on another date with Kathryn.
It was a Sunday, and I was feeling stressed about the week ahead. I had my normal workload plus I’d just moved to a new apartment. All my stuff was still in boxes and my new Ikea dresser was sitting in my room half-built.
And now in addition to all of this, Flo would be going on a date with Kathryn. And out of nowhere, it seemed. …
It’s hard to think on your feet in moments of arousal
You’re alone in a room with someone you think is attractive. Your nerves are spiking from sexual arousal, anxiety, or some combination of the two.
Then something unexpected happens. And in your hot state, you have to make a decision: to go along with it or refuse.
What do you do? Is it even possible to say now that you’re sitting alone reading this blog post, relaxed?
The answer is no.
How convenient it would be if having an extraordinary life were that simple.
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.” — Marianne Williamson
A reader of mine recently commented that I “must be a trust fund baby.”
They argued that I seem to traipse around the world, having flings in exotic places with exotic men, living like an heiress without a care in the world.
I seem out of touch with reality where people work for money and have real problems.
A long lineage of family money — that explains it! …
Sarah Stroh
New Yorker living in Berlin. I overshare stories about sex positivity, love, and non-monogamy. Get more details on my monogamish life 👉 https://bit.ly/2I81N62
