Take your top off and finally be as comfortable as he is. — I was at a public beach far out in Brooklyn with a guy I was seeing and some of his friends when four breasts came out. Two of his female friends took off their tops and ran into the water with only a bikini bottom on. As soon as they…

A common misconception about non-monogamous people — A friend the other day told me about a conversation she’d recently had about non-monogamy with a hometown friend. Her friend was convinced: If you’re in a relationship and “feel the need” to simultaneously date other people, you must be compensating for something. In other words, if you’re dating others…

TOMORROW — This Tues, September 26, I’m hosting a webinar: How to find joy when your partner’s on a date with someone else It’s live interview and workshop with compersion researcher Dr. Marie Thouin and myself. On the call, we’re going to cover the most important info we know about compersion: finding…

And how to have one too — The person I’ve been seeing regularly (other than my partner), Chris, and I were on a date the other day. And it was going really well; we cooked, cuddled, and listened to music in each other’s arms. But later that evening, when he realized his partner might come home soon…

Can we expand our definition of non-monogamy? — I was at dinner the other day with a friend and two of his friends, Clara and Fred, a couple who were visiting from Australia. Over Korean noodles, Fred mentioned he liked my content on Instagram, so we started talking about non-monogamy. Eventually, I asked the couple: Are you monogamous? …

The pivot partner’s dilemma — Couples in non-monogamous relationships face a common conflict: balancing one partner’s need for freedom or variety with another partner’s need for safety and security. One person, maybe the more extroverted of the two, is out and about trying to get dates and “act” on their non-monogamy. …

Hurt me, I dare you — Recently, I went on a few dates with someone new. There’s a thick attraction between us that I haven’t felt in a while. And goddamn, it’s so good. But it’s also so damn uncomfortable. In this early stage, it’s hard not to take every small sign as something more important…

You could have been feeling one of them all along. — In a recent HuffLife article (for which I was interviewed — yay!) about compersion, I learned something new. According to compersion researcher Marie Thouin, also interviewed for the article by Kelly Borrenson, there are two types of compersion: embodied compersion and attitudinal compersion. Thouin says embodied compersion is when “you…

Stable, steady, and loving One thing I’ve noticed about myself over the last few years is that I’m afraid of attractive men. No, not afraid to approach them. No, not afraid to flirt. No, not afraid to make the first move. I’m afraid of the power they have over me. …