Josh was the first man I ever dated who was passionate about putting his mouth on my vagina. He was also the first boyfriend with whom I regularly orgasmed. And it wasn’t a coincidence.
For a while, oral sex was the only way I could get off with a man. So it was usually one of the courses on our menu of love-making.
But then Josh and I split, and I started to have sex with other men, hoping they would do the same. And many did without my prompting.
But there were others that didn’t get the memo, which…
I was at a public beach far out in Brooklyn with a guy I was seeing and some of his friends when four breasts came out.
Two of his female friends took off their tops and ran into the water with only a bikini bottom on. As soon as they did, I looked left and right at the other New York beach-goers around us…
Big Latin families serving each other hot food, an old wrinkly couple drinking cocktails, a group of friends dancing to Caribbean music, teenagers in groups smoking cigarettes and taking selfies.
We weren’t at Burning Man or…
At a hostel in the ancient city of Taormina, Sicily, a pretty girl greeted me at the front desk. As she checked me in, a man standing behind her checked me out with a big smile in the way I’d come to learn Italian men do.
He was several years older than I, had dark thinning hair, and had the gaunt look of someone who was malnourished.
Even though I did not find him attractive, I was grateful for his gaze. …
I first met Eric at a music festival. After a long day of dancing, making out, and dancing some more, we had sex in his tent.
It was an amazing day and night.
A few weeks later, back in Berlin (where we both live), we decided to go on a date. I was looking forward to simply see him again but also to go home together to continue where we’d left off in his tent.
But it didn’t quite go as planned.
We met at a pasta restaurant, where we chatted about our time living in Berlin so far as…
I love the idea of having a threesome with a woman and my male partner Flo.
I love the idea of watching him give pleasure to someone else. And I love the idea of him getting turned on watching me with another woman. The thought is arousing for both of us.
So over the last year, Flo has made efforts towards meeting women who might be up for the role. He’s been on apps talking to various people, and he’s suggested I follow up with women we’d met in person together and found attractive.
But I never wanted to follow…
“He was a good man. He never slept around.” I’ve often heard those two sentences in the same breath. As if they were one and the same.
But this idea never sat right with me.
I’ve wondered, Isn’t there more? Is that really all it takes? Why do people put so much value on sexual exclusivity?
Equating being a good man with not going out and getting some strange is nonsense. Complete and utter nonsense. For two main reasons.
One, you can have a beautiful relationship with someone and NOT be sexually exclusive. …
When I was a teenager, there was a rumor going around. At a party, Kara*, a girl at the high school one town over, had apparently performed oral sex on three boys at once.
When I heard the news, I bit my tongue and listened to my friends’ reactions. “Wow, what a slut,” one said.
“I feel bad for her that she needs that kind of attention,” said another.
For several weeks, Kara was the talk of the town — of several towns. Infamous. It was safe to say her reputation was ruined for the rest of her high school…
Polyamorous? Non-monogamous? Or otherwise, living outside of what people consider a normal relationship paradigm?
Are you willing to talk to me about your life on video for 30 minutes?
There are many people out there who feel the way they were taught to have relationships isn’t working for them. They just don’t know what the alternatives are.
I want to show them.
So I’m putting together a series of interviews with people like you, who are choosing their own path when it comes to romance.
Thank you, everyone!
(Tagging a few people I would specifically love to take part:)
When two people get together, people automatically assume they will board “the relationship escalator.” They will get on these moving stairs, which take them up to the different “levels” of a relationship
First, they move in together, then they get married, then they have kids, and if they do it all right, one of them dies before they break up.
At that point, boom! They’ve won at relationships. They’re a success.
But it’s not that way for all of us.
At a sleep-away camp in New Hampshire, I met Eric. He was 14 like me, with an above-average height and hazelnut skin.
I’d heard he liked me and I liked him too.
So one night after lights-out, we both snuck out of our bunks and met behind his cabin. We started to kiss. With tongue. He moved a hand down my body and towards the top of the spandex leggings that clung to my waist.
Third base. He wanted to go to third base, I realized.
Before his hand wandered too far, I put my hand firmly on top of…